Jersey Born: October 2008

On Monday, October 20, 2008, my dear friend Kevin passed away. My family was fortunate enough to know Kevin, not only through his friendship with me, but also through our community, where we grew up and through Scouts. Many of my extended family knew Kevin personally. He visited us on one of our annual Dedham reunions in Avalon in the 80's, he attended family gatherings and was eagerly introduced by me to any of my cousins who happened to visit New Jersey. I, in turn, was fortunate enough to know, not only Kevin, but also his incredibly loving family, who always seemed to have room for "one more" in the their lives. It could never be too crowded.

Kevin was even keeled, steady, sure, and above all, dependable. No matter what, he was always ready and willing to help his friends. His friendship was a gift and I truly treasured it. I thought of him as one of my best friends throughout High School, college and beyond. In high school we hung out in Carl's basement or cruised around in one of their cars. In fact, they both made me late for our HS graduation. I would meet up with him in Philly when he attended Drexel. We would always get together on weekends home.

Kevin was constantly in motion. You name it, if it was something to do outside, he not only did it, but excelled at it. Skiing, Hiking, Roller blading, everything. He loved photography. We would take day excursions out to photograph different subjects, one day nature, the next architecture. They are some of my fondest memories.

After Kevin's accident, I wondered if there would be a change in his character, if anyone deserved it, he did. It wouldn't have mattered, we all still would have loved him regardless. But he didn't change. He just kept going on, as laid back as ever, trying to get every one around him relaxed, too. Its as if he wasn't truly happy unless the people around him were happy. He needed to feel that "vibe". (He would know what I mean.)

When I first moved to PA a few months ago, I turned on the radio and found a Philly station, WMMR. I remember Kevin commenting once that he liked one of the DJs on that station, Pierre Robeirre. It was just a comment, made in passing, just an observation he made sometime in the early 1990's. And yet, I remember it like it was a profound statement, his opinion to be weighed greatly. But, that's how it is with my memories of Kevin. I thought of him constantly. A song on the radio brings up the time we heard it at a concert together and the ensuing conversation we had; a book in the library reminds me that he liked it and told me about; a comment made by a co-worker reminds me of his opinion on the matter and what we would say of it; I did this subconsciously for years, for decades. I never realized it, until he popped into my head Tuesday morning because "The Waiting" by Tom Petty was on the radio, and we went to that concert at the Arts Center and had such a great time. And then I remembered, and it hit me.

So, I have to say good bye. We have to say good bye. And I see Kevin, just as I always have in my dreams, walking and smiling. Ready to get going. He waited very patiently to be able to continue to do all of the things he loved, skiing, biking, hiking, moving.